


dancing with your ghost.

by kryptononon



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Implied/Referenced Character Death, i nearly cried writing this wtf, i'm sorry for making a piano wet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:53:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25665451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kryptononon/pseuds/kryptononon
Summary: Renee Blasey is assumed to be dead.Natalie Paquette never got to say goodbye.
Relationships: Wattson | Natalie Paquette/Wraith | Renee Blasey
Comments: 5
Kudos: 42





	dancing with your ghost.

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by @/crabornara's angsty art.
> 
> title taken from dancing with your ghost by sasha sloan.

It doesn’t feel real. She’s past the crying, the shouting, but now it just feels empty. Renee’s piano has been sitting there, collecting dust, and their shared vinyl player was spinning the same record over and over again, as Natalie Paquette sat on her couch, no, their couch, and looked blankly forward, blinking away the tears in her eyes as they came.

Every Friday night, they never failed to move all the furniture aside and slow dance together in the middle of their living room. This song was  _ their _ song. But now, staring at the whiskey in front of her, Natalie broke down into tears again, the sound of her sobs reverberating around the empty apartment, together with the soft piano chorus from the record player. Natalie thought she was past the crying, but maybe not.

Nothing was the same without Renee. She may not be talkative, but the apartment has been much quieter, without the sounds of Renee’s soft piano playing travelling across the rooms and comforting Natalie while she was working on a project. Taking a sip of her whiskey, Natalie winces and grimaces at the burning sensation in her throat before roughly wiping her tears with a jacket sleeve. Natalie forces herself to stand on shaky legs, and she tugs the piano bench before sitting in front of Renee’s piano. She lifts the cover and rests her fingers on the keys, closing her eyes as she so desperately tries to recall a memory, the sensation of Renee’s hands over her’s, gently guiding her fingers across keys, pushing down gently to play beautiful chords. Natalie sobs silently, pressing down on a few keys, the ghostly wisps of Renee in Natalie’s memory smiling softly at her as they played along to the record, the gentle twinkling of piano keys once again filling the house. There were a few errors, but it was the effort that mattered. When her fingers returned to the first note, the piano key was wet.   
  
Natalie opens her eyes, and Renee is gone again. For the rest of the night, Natalie sits on the piano bench, playing the same song over and over again as she wrenches her eyes shut, begging that somehow, Renee would hear her, and maybe she would come back.

She doesn’t.

* * *

The Legends all know about Natalie and Renee. And they all managed to convince the Syndicate to open up King’s Canyon to let Natalie roam around, to somehow consolidate her feelings. Bangalore put it as “wrapping things up”, and Mirage, along with Lifeline and Crypto were kind enough to follow along, just in case. Natalie walked along the Slum Lakes, visiting a nessie plushie that she had left there when her Papa first passed, and picked it up, dusting it off before continuing on.

They all knew where she was heading. Natalie didn’t stop anywhere else and kept her gaze forward until she arrived at the sliding doors of Singh Labs. The three Legends watched from a respectable distance as Wattson disappeared down the stairs, only hearing the sound of a door being kicked off its hinges. Crypto took a step forward, but Mirage stops him. He knows what it’s like to hold on to a ghost of a memory, and Crypto hesitates for a moment before agreeing.

Natalie knew about the recording that was in the room, stumbling across it accidentally during a game. It was a long time ago, before Crypto entered the games as a Legend. With the sounds of the portal room behind her, Natalie puts the worn Nessie beside the computer and presses play with a shaky hand. 

The recording of Renee's voice plays, clear as day, through the recording. She doesn't pay attention to the contents of the message. That's not important. Natalie holds back a sob, holding onto the table for support. She's wearing Renee's scarf, and she breathes in deeply, trying to salvage any remaining scent of her love, as the recording continued, echoing around the empty room.

Natalie never thought she would be chasing ghosts, but here she was, and she felt like a fool, oh she did, but she didn't know what else to do.

So when she heard steps, the sound of boots on concrete, she doesn't bother looking up.

"Elliot, please. Give me five more minutes," Natalie says, softly. The recording of Renee's voice ends, and the screen flickers.

"Natalie."

It cannot be.

Natalie looks up at the screen and sees an impossible reflection. She turns around slowly, and she sees a ghost.

"I'm sorry. I'm not-"

Natalie looks at the woman in white armour in front of her, and covers her mouth with her hands in pure shock, choking out a sob. Of relief or of disbelief, it was hard to tell. She steps forward, putting a hand on her chest as if to check that the woman in front of her actually exists. The helmet hisses, and lifts, and Natalie meets the gaze of a woman, long gone.

_ Mon dieu, she still is beautiful. _

"Natalie-"

"Please." She says, almost begging. "It's been so long."

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sad now


End file.
